What In Tarnation?!?!?

Originally posted by Anna E.

The co-op schedules various emergency drills throughout the year so we’re prepared for any crisis. September’s drill was a fire drill, so that involves going outside. The boss sits out in her car and calls the center from her cell phone and tells us to evacuate. I had prepared the kids for the drill earlier in the morning, but then it had started raining, so I assumed that Debbie would postpone the drill until Monday or Tuesday. Nope. She called during Learning Center time. I had the dramatic play center open, which involves dress-up clothes. (I also had the block center, writing center, and puzzle center open, but
that isn’t important to the story.)

It is sprinkling and looking rather ominous when Debbie calls at around 10:50. I reluctantly gather up the kids from their centers (they weren’t happy with me–Center time is their favorite part of the day). I immediately realize I’m missing someone–quick roster check–it’s Tia. I send the line (OK, chaotic huddle–we’re working on a line, but haven’t mastered it yet) of preschoolers outside with the other adults and race through the house to find the missing child.

Then I discover Tia. She’s sitting on the toilet. Tia is very close to being potty-trained, but still not there yet. She’s very proud of herself for going on her own initiative…she beams at me as I run in and says, “Wook, Miss Nanna, I’m going poopoo in da potty!” I try to lift her off the toilet (how do you explain a fire drill to a delayed three-year old?) and she lets out a bloodcurdling scream, “I’M NOT DONE YET!!” Well, what am I to do? The boss is outside, watching, waiting, and likely evaluating me as a teacher to decide if I’m trustworthy…

I decide since it’s our first drill of the year, Debbie will cut me some slack and won’t get too angry. So I let Tia finish (gosh, how long does it take her to go?) and explain that we would come back and wipe in a few seconds (she’s still in Pull-Ups, so it wasn’t a big deal). We race out into the main room of the house…and I notice that poor Thomas has been left behind, busy playing in the dress-up center. He’s oblivious that the class has left him (oblivion is a common state for him). Secretly, I suspect that he was left behind for a reason; I think everyone wanted a good laugh at watching me wrestle with him. Thomas is a little…odd. The co-op has a bet going that he will be gay in 20 years. He’s definitely a WLK (early childhood abbreviation for “weird little kid”). He likes to play dress-up and do hair and pretend to put on make-up and all. When he’s dressed up, he also walks like a girl, doing the hip walk. Anyway, Thomas is all decked out in a long purple skirt and bright red high heels. He is busy admiring his reflection in the classroom mirror and pretending to put on lipstick and fix his hair. Unfortunately, Thomas also has a temper and a bit of a problem transitioning. Most of my kids have transitioning problems because they’re little and are special ed, but Thomas is particularly difficult to transition. So I know he will be traumatized for the rest of the month if I yank him out of his high heels. I try to explain to him that we’re going outside and I’m met with a blank stare (by this point, we’ve been inside for several minutes after the alert and have no doubt perished in the pseudo-fire). No time to transition smoothly–especially since Thomas knows that we normally don’t go outside at preschool. So I grab his hand and try to pull him with Tia and I. He keeps stumbling in his high heels. We’re not getting anywhere. I tell him to take his shoes off…and he starts yelling that he doesn’t want to. I get desperate and pick him up with my remaining arm. (I’ve got Tia under the other arm because she tends to randomly fall over a lot and I don’t want to risk her falling in front of the boss-lady.) Finally, I head outside of the house with two armfuls of children. Debbie was about to come in after me…but then starts laughing hysterically. I guess it did look pretty funny. Here I am, holding a little girl who keeps tugging at her rear end because I yanked her shorts up without ensuring the Pull-Up was in proper position. I suspect her shorts were twisted and her diaper not fully in workable order. Then I have Thomas tucked under the other arm, dressed in a skirt that’s pulled up to his armpits and red pumps, still screaming because I didn’t give him adequate warning of the scenery change. I put Tia down and instruct her to go down the hill to MS. Lynn, the speech teacher. She (for once) complies without needing multiple repetitions, leaving me to fanagle with Thomas. She pulled at her shorts the whole way down the hill, but at least she listened. I put Thomas down because he’s about to either kick me or bite me; I can’t figure out which. Neither one seems inviting, particularly since he’s wearing high heels, so I take his hand and firmly order him to walk. He tries–but the ground is so wet from the rain that his heels keep sinking into the ground. So I pick him up again and finally make it down to where the rest of the class is waiting…a whopping 7 minutes after the boss told me to evacuate.

To top off the whole experience, Debbie does remind me that I’ve not brought the emergency cards, the phone, or the first aid kit with me. I apologized and was forgiven. I suspect that had I not emerged with two preschoolers under my arms, I may have gotten in a bit of trouble. The sight, however, of one little guy in a skirt and heels and a little girl still mumbling “I still have a poopoo in my bottom!” exonerated me from any blame. I guess she realized she’d caught us in a bad time…and that it’d gotten worse because the kids knew there really wasn’t an emergency and were none too happy about being taken from their Learning Centers.

I told her next time to give me a time when she’s going to call a drill so we can be prepared. I know that that goes against the theory of a fire drill, but it’s the only way we can all get out in the time limit. Three year olds rarely move quickly when necessary (though they’re speedy when I’m trying to slow them down!), and special ed kids simply can’t handle the change without warning. In a real fire, I wouldn’t have let Tia finish and my aide would’ve gotten Thomas out already. I think they left him in for me to see and deal with. At least they all had a good laugh over it…and I did, too, after the incident was over and I realized how idiotic I must have looked with my two little darlings…

Then the afternoon session started with a different, and much quieter, group of kids. One of them, Ozzy, is autistic. I suspect he will eventually be very
high functioning. But for now, he is learning those skills to be able to participate in normal society. Ozzy has lots of sensory issues (I guess I shouldn’t be talking considering I’m also tactile defensive, don’t have tags in any of my clothing, avoid play-dough, and couldn’t eat pudding until college because of the texture). His issues always make for interesting stories. We had jello for snack (another food I used to avoid because of the texture). He actually ate it and enjoyed it–I was surprised. Well, Ozzy can’t stand elastic. He was wearing sweatpants–I’m surprised they were still on. Ozzy tends to strip in the car on the way to school and undresses at least 3 times during my session. Anyway, he had one hand continuously stretching out the elastic waistband. While one hand was repeatedly pulling his pants off his waist, the other hand was attempting to steer the spoonful of jello into his mouth. I should also mention that he won’t let the spoon touch his palm, so he has poor feeding skills because he can’t get leverage from his palm. He was carefully aiming the spoon of jello towards his mouth while stretching out his pants. *bloop* The jello slides off his spoon and *plop* lands the exact moment he has his pants stretched off his body. So the poor kid got jello all over his…well, you know what body part I’m thinking of. He looks shocked and horrified for a few seconds and then starts screaming bloody murder. I’ve already got my rag (I am prepared when I supervise snacktime!) to wipe it up and I’m making my way over to his chair. Before I can get there, Ozzy starts frantically rubbing the spot through his sweatpants. I assume it was to spread the gooeyness around so it wasn’t centered over his…, but I don’t know what goes on in his mind. Ozzy has the jello completely mooshed around under his pants. It’s starting to ooze out through his pants. Needless to say, I had to clean up the poor little guy after that. He certainly didn’t enjoy having me wipe him up (particulary in the crotch area), but I think he was relieved to get the jello out of his…

So I have a crossdresser in the morning class and a kid who got jello down his pants in the afternoon session. Teaching is certainly an adventure!

All names changed.

Sweet Home Alabama is a romantic comedy where a recently engaged New York City fashion designer (Reese Witherspoon) must travel to her home town in Alabama to finalize her divorce from her husband who she hasn’t seen in years. All romantic comedies fit under the same story line, and this movie does not stray from that fact. The girl finds a relationship that she thinks is perfect, and then she runs across the other guy and she is stuck between the two and is drawn one way or the other until finally it all comes down to the last minute where she must choose and of course she picks the right one, and the other one is fine with it and life goes on happily ever after. This movie does not fall far from the norm when it comes to romantic comedies, but there were some differences and things that made the movie more interesting. Although it was the typical, predictable, stereotypical romance, the movie threw enough new stuff at me that I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time watching something I have already seen a thousand times, even though in reality I was. Its kinda like dealing with a friendly salesmen. You know that your getting ripped off, but your getting ripped off with a friendly smile so for some reason you take it and it makes it all better. The movie contained enough comedy and drama to keep me entertained and interested in it.

The movie deals with differences in being rich and being poor, being from the city and living in the country and does make for an interesting story with a hysterical behind the scenes look at political life because one of the girls boyfriends is a rich political figure and his mother is the governor, so she is quite embarrassed by her sons relationship with this poor, country girl who has lied about her entire existence. The conflicts that arise between parents and townspeople make for a funny story.

So is it worth watching? At this point in time there are not a lot of really good movies out and so if you really feel like going to see a movie, then this is an ok choice. If your not hard pressed to go see a movie, then maybe you should wait. I did enjoy the movie, it kept me entertained, but there are things contained in the movie that offended me.

Entertainment Value: C+ To be honest I enjoyed the movie and would probably see it again when it comes out on video but like I said before it was very typical and predictable. If you are in the mood for a funny entertaining movie that does not require any deep thought then this may be a good choice for you. But if you don’t want to see the same book with a different cover and if you don’t feel like riding the emotional rollercoaster of a romantic comedy then don’t bother getting off the couch.

Worldview: The movie does not promote good family values. The girl ran out on her husband and lived in New York for years apart from him, both of them carrying on other relationships during this period. There is lots of drinking and quite a bit of language plus several homosexual references and innuendo. The girl has ran away from her life and lied to everyone about who she is and where she comes from. The movie supports and implements the ideas of drinking and sexual relations outside of marriage. There are not a lot of good values that come out of this movie, maybe a few, so I would have to rate it at a D on the worldview scale. Don’t let your kids see it.

Pressed

The new TV Season is now well under way. Let’s take a look at some new shows and returning series.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - How refreshing was the season opener of Buffy? No over the top sex scenes, what appears to be a real “big bad” that will be the focus of the season, and Giles! Last season, with the excpetion of the wonderful One More Time, With Feeling, was just sick. I didn’t want to watch it, and on the occasion that I missed it, it didn’t matter to me. I kept reading rumors saying that this season would return Buffy to its roots, to the beginning, and the Joss Wedon penned script has done just that! Now if it will just stay that way. A- Worldview is looking better.

CSI: Crime Investigation Unit - The origianl and still my favorite. The season opener upped the violence factor (watching a slow mo reinactment of a man having a bullet shot through his head comes to mind.) This episode was pretty graphic. B- Worldview: Murder, murder everywhere and lots of blood to go along with it.

CSI: Miami - I wanted to like this show. I really did. But I didn’t. I think it is because David Curuso’s character seems to have changed from the CSI episode that introduced his character. I’m not all that fond of Kim Delany’s new character either. Combine that with a mildly interesting story and you got a show that is on my chopping block. D+ Worldview: See CSI.

Everwood - This was not a show that I was planning on watching, but I decided to give it a try. This series is about a very succesfull brain surgeon moves to Everwood, CO after his wife’s death to open a free family practice, much to the dismay to the only doctor in Everwood. The series will focus on the father and unhappy son relationship. The series has good writing and acting along with interesting story twists. I enjoyed both episodes I have seen. B Worldview: This is a family oriented show about a father dealing with the death of his beloved wife who he still talks to. The show will probably deal with some sexual content in the future. That is a guess.

More to come.

After Monsters, Inc. came out in theaters in the first week of November 2001 I was disapointed to see that the video/DVD release was not until September 17, 2002. But now 11 months later Monsters, Inc. is finally here on DVD!

I purchased the DVD at wal-mart at the fun price of $19.95. It had been so long since I had seen the movie that I was overly excited about watching it and once again I was not disapointed. Pixar brings us another great movie that is fun for the entire family. If you are not aware, Pixar also did Toy Story one and two, and A Bugs Life, all of which were excellent movies.

Monsters, Inc. is a movie that creates a whole new world based on the fears that everyone has experienced as a child. I was always afraid that there were monsters in my closet or under my bed when I was little and this movie is built on that idea, but from the other side of the closet so to speak. In the same way that Toy Story brings to life the world of toys when the humans are not around, Monsters Inc reveals to us the world of monsters. This hilarious comedy is perfect for all ages, although some parts may be frightening for smaller children. As always I would suggest, parents, that you watch the movie first before letting your children watch it so that you can discern whether or not it is appropriate. If you are looking for a fun movie that will keep you in suspense and laughing all at the same time you will not be disapointed with Monsters, Inc.

Now for those of you obsessed with DVD’s, myself included, the DVD of Monsters, Inc has several great features. For those of you who saw Monsters, Inc. at the theater you may remember the short film at the beginning called “For the Birds.” This hilarious mini-movie won the 2001 Academy Award for the Best Animated Short Film. You are able to view “For the Birds” on the DVD but there is also another Short Film included, called “Mike’s New Car.” Of course as always you get the filmmakers’ audio commentary and other cool features. There are also some deleted scenes from the movie, but they are not animated scenes, they are simply the drawings with voices to show you how the scenes would have played out. There is an art gallery, music videos, games, and much more. The DVD gives you the option of Widescreen or Full screen, so that you don’t have to worry about buying the right one, and the newest version of this DVD also comes with the Monsters, Inc. pinball game that I have yet to play.

Entertainment Value: A
I highly recommend this movie. It is another animated film that you don’t have to be a kid to enjoy. Adults can relate to this movie very well. There are strong parental values that are brought out in this movie as Sulley (a Monster) becomes somewhat of a parental figure over the little girl, as he tries to protect her from all the dangers of the new world she has entered. This movie has enough humor, suspense, and drama blended together to make it on my top list of entertainment.

Worldview: There is no foul language, sexual content, or any objectionable material in this movie. There are strong parental values as I have mentioned before but there is also an emphasis on friendship values as Sulley and Mike (Sulley’s best friend) help each other and triumph over troubles in their friendship. The movie also brings out the idea that the good is greater than evil in that (Inviso-Text) in the end you see the laughter of children is far more powerful and greater than their screams. So the Monsters new job is to make children laugh instead of scream.

If your children have a fear of monsters in their room and you are afraid that this movie will only irritate that, I would say that should not be a concern for you. The movie itself shows that the monsters are more afraid of the children than the children are of monsters. It also brings out a very valued and adorable relationship between a monster and a cute little girl that will just steal your heart. This movie may in fact help remove that fear instead of making it greater. But as always, use your own discretion.

I have a new favorite mystery show. If you haven’t seen the TV show Monk you need to. The show follows the life of Adrian Monk, a former police detective who developed extreme obsessive-conpulsive tendencys after the untimely death of his wife. As a result, he was forced off the force. The OCD ticks, however, are quite helpful for him, as a dective. He is able to see things differently than most people which helps him to solve some of the oddest mysterys. Tony Shalhoub, of Wings and MIB fame, brings Monk to life. Shalhoub, doesn’t play Monk for laughs which makes his performance wonderful.

Monk’s OCD gets him in the funniest situations: fighting with a maid over the placement of a picture, insisting that a man button his sweater correctly, and getting caught on a ferris wheel in a carnival are just a few.

Monk’s supporting cast are just as strong. His personal assistant is just crazy enough to stay around him, and the grumpy police sarget that doesn’t want Monk back on the force, but once he has a tough case, they call on Monk, make for a well rounded show.

You can see Monk on the USA Cable Network.

Entertainment: A * Reviewer’s Pick

Worldview: Monk deals with murder in every episode, but not in a graphic way like CSI. He is relentless in catching the criminal. Monk likes things clean!!!! Cleanliness is next to Godliness!

Finally! A new Super Mario game for the GameCube. Sure Mario have been seen in the most excellent game Super Smash Brothers, but and adventure for himself similar made for the N64.

This one even has an interesting story. Princess Peach and the gang have been worn out from having the Princess kidknapped repeatedly so they go on vacation. Sounds like fun, right? Well of course things don’t go well for our hero from the momment they land on the small island. Someone looking just like Mario has gone around the island vandelizing and polluting the island. Marion is arrested and is sentenced to cleaning up the island with the help of his water squirter, invented by the same character that created Luigi’s Vaccum in the amusing Luigi’s Haunted Mansion. Mario sets out to clean up the island and find out who has been framing him.

Let me just say how addicting this game is, and this from a person who was extremely doubtful about the fun factor of cleaning up an island. The water jet that Mario carries around brings a whole new dimension to the game. The controls are easy to get used to and the game avoids the lengthy cut scenes that plague the aforementioned Luigi’s Haunted Mansion. You can definately see the influence that Luigi’s Haunted Mansion has had on this game. My favorite level so far involves and huge metal evil creature, a roller coaster that Mario rides, and missles. Whew its fun!!!!!!

Entertainment value: A-

Worldveiw: The game allow you as Mario to help various people around the island. Helping these people is not required of the game. Players are rewarded for their kindness. Part of game play, is of course, cleaning up polluted areas, encouraging good stewardship of physical resources.

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a “Women Only” parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Oh, that’s rich. Special thanks to the Librarians for showing it to me.

Class dismissed!

Well I have been on an Alfred Hitchcock kick. Actually I have been on a Alfred Hitchcock for quite some time. Especially since I saw Psycho (the original one) some time ago. There is a certain quality to Hitchcock’s movies that other film makers try steal, borrow, and use incorrectly. I can’t really put my finger on what it is, but I have never seen a Hitchcock movie that I didn’t like (I haven’t seen all of them).

Recently, I watch two Hitchcock movies, one that I had not seen before and the other, I had seen on several occasions (North By Northwest, which I will have to review later).

The first movie was Rope. I had read a few things about Rope online (This link is to the Google graveyard, the site was not up.) that intrigued me and made the movie significant in his filmography. Hitchcock filmed Rope in “real time,” meaning that the events in the movie take two hours of time, the same running time of the movie. To accomplish this, it appears as though Hitchcock has shot the entire movie with one long camera shot that never cuts away. When the characters move to a different room in the house, the camera follows them. Now this was quite a feat during Hitchcock’s time because the camera could only hold eight minutes of film at a time. To make it appear that the camera never cuts away, it zooms into the back of a black jacket or other dark area to make the cut. This type of filming makes it feel more like theater than a movie. Other examples of movies or TV that utilize some of these same techniques include The X-File’s episode Triangle (The one on the ship that travels back in time to World War II), the excellent TV series 24, and the okay but amusing movie In the Nick of Time.

The story of Rope revolves around two men that kill another man by strangling him with a rope just before a dinner party they are hosting. They then hide the body in chest in which the meal is to be served on. Don’t worry, I’m not ruining anything, the murder occurs in the first seconds of the movie.

Initially, I was a little worried about the movie. I was not impressed with actors portraying the murders, I thought that they were kind of annoying, however they soon grew on me and the traits that I found annoying were appropriate for the characters. The tension in the movie comes from the question: Will the dinner guests find out about the dead body? Here is were the masterful genius of Hitchcock comes into play. He manages to create suspense without shock with things like a maid moving some books, the slow mental breakdown of one of the murders, the other murder’s blatant hinting at the murder and through the titular rope. Good stuff. However, Hitchcock takes this set-up to closely at the existential philosophy. One of the murders feels that because of his intellectual superiority he was not held to any moral standard, he was his moral standard. He set up the dinner party to prove how super he was.

I would recommend the movie.

Entertainment/Artistic Grade: A-

World View: The film puts a very negative light on existentialism. There is lots of drinking (and not soda POP) in the film.