24 Oct
Ooooops: A Brief History Revisited
Back in the day, I made a Blogger Idol post that was a brief history of some big mistakes. I would like to go back and amend that list. Please make a mental note of the following alterations.
Idiot parent one and two decide to take their infant baby boy (named Christopher, BTW) into the movie theater so they could watch The Grudge. Ooooops!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with The Grudge, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar (and didn’t click the above link), should know that The Grudge is a horror movie. I’m sure that idiot parent one and two (here after referred to as IP12) thought little baby Christopher won’t understand or remember any of the movie, it won’t matter if we take little baby Christopher to see this frightening movie. Faulty logic my friends. Anyone who know anything about horror movies knows that the purpose of a horror movie is to not tell a really good yarn, it is not to delve into the depths of a character, it is not to teach the audience something. The purpose of a horror movie it to scare the audience. The typical horror movie will use several methods to do this. One such method is called a jump scene (illustrated here). The jump scene is so named because it wants the movie goer to jump out of their seat. A typical jump scene will include such element as scary and/or suspenseful music, objects that unexpectedly appear into frame, and extremely loud sounds.
The first jump scene that wasn’t very intense, little baby Christopher doesn’t like it. He gets fussy and IP2 (mommy) picks him up and he calms down. I get a little more irritated. Second jump scene is way more intense. Little baby Christopher doesn’t like the very loud screeching cat, the unexpected jostling that was caused by IP2 jumping out of her seat and he certainly didn’t like IP2 squeezing and nearly dropping him. I don’t blame him. All this causes little baby Christopher to begin what I call “the death scream.” You know the scream when a baby is scared.
It is at this point that I fully expect IP 1 or 2 (I don’t care which) take little baby Christopher out of the theater. No. IP2 has a better idea. She decides to talk over the movie’s loud soundtrack to try and reassure Christopher. So she is practically screaming at Christopher, “Don’t cry little guy. It scared Mommy too.” I become even more irritated.
After much sighing and remarks from movie goers, IP2 takes little baby Christopher out of the theater. Only to return a short time later for another jump scene that has the same exact response from Chris. She leaves again and comes back a few minutes later to announce to IP1 and the rest of the movie goers that she is going to sit nearer to the back. It seems little baby Christopher likes it better outside the theater, if he gets fussy starts screaming again, she can easily take him out into the hall. I become more irritated.
Some kind of basic common sense test would not be a bad idea before people become parents. Maybe we could avoid things like this.
As far as the movie goes, it did what I wanted it to and that was to scare me. I liked that the story was told in a nonlinear fashion, however others who were with me “just don’t get when they do that” but I just rolled my eyes at him and went on my way. There were a few large plot holes in the story. The only really objectionable material was the violence and gore, your millage may very. If you liked The Ring you will probably like The Grudge. My biggest problem was Sarah. Her acting was just fine, I am just used to her kicking monster butt rather than staring at it in fear. My grade: C.
Class dismissed!
PS A special thanks to Anna for posting while I was away. I hope that we can make this a more permeant habit. 
Posted by Pressed on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
Being one of the other movie goers who had to put up with IP12 and the death scream from little Christopher, I would have to say that there is a special place in hell for peadofiles, people who talk on the phone during a movie, and idiot parents who bring their small children into a scary movie to scare them for life.
Posted by Christopher on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
My goodness.
Is that a Firefly quote? 
By gorge I think it is! 
Did I mention that they are making a movie?
Posted by Pressed on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
Several times.
Posted by Flip on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
Poor baby, poor other moviewatchers
Posted by Anna on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
Grr. Isn’t that irritating?
Can’t sleep, so I’m up reading up on all the blogs. I may as well stay up; I’ve got to leave for class in 7 hours anyway.:roll:
I enjoyed blogging. It was fun. We’ll talk.
Posted by kevin on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
Was she hot? That’s what we really want to know!
Posted by Christopher on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
Kevin, are you referring to Sarah Michelle Gellar or IP2?
If you are referring to SMG ah, well… she is SMG.
If you were referring to IP2, it was dark and I couldn’t really see any features, and I was so angry she could have been SMG and I will think she was ugly b/c of her idiocy.
Posted by Timothy R. Butler on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
The movie going experience isn’t usually enjoyable for me due to reasons like this (other than the popcorn — I looooove popcorn). The only time I haven’t ended up sitting next to or in front of the person with a cell phone or holding a conversation or a bunch of screaming kids, in recent times, was at the Passion — our church bought out the screen for a night.
Posted by Jared on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
Oooo, that would have irritated me to death. Parents bringing babies into movie theaters is a huge pet peeve of mine, regardless of whether the movie is a horror film or not. Stay home or spring for a babysitter.
Last year I went to see a movie (don’t remember what it was), and it was very late at night. Probably about 10:30 or so. This couple had a young boy with them who looked to be about six years old. There were no kiddie movies playing, so I was trying to figure out what movie these idiots would bring a little kid to at 10:30 at night.
I nonchalantly followed them down the hall and saw that they were taking him to “House of 1000 Corpses.”
That’s child abuse, in my opinion.
Posted by Christopher on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
I would agree with you Jared. A child up that late to see a movie. The movie they took him to just makes it worse.
Posted by Christopher T on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
I stumbled across your site… Chances are we dont know eachother… anyways, I clicked on your link to an example of a jump scene. It scared me half to death:shock:. I wasnt expecting it, because I thought you had given a faulty link. It was a pretty good jump scene I have to admit:wink:.
Posted by Eric Jahnke on 24.10.04 at 8:56 pm
i saw The Grudge on a Tuesday night a year ago and this idiot couple took a four-year old! it’s PG-13 but it’s too scary for little kids 4-year olds should be at G movies only!