What In Tarnation?!?!? In the Classroom

Our building recently started it’s big fundraising campaign. Our PTO has chosen to go with a new fundraising company. The kids are selling cookie dough and pretzels. Instead of the big assembly with the whole school coming together to learn about all the cheap cool prizes that students earn by selling the over priced pretzels and dough, they fundraising people came around to each room to motivate the kids. That was fine with me.

The only problem was that this fundraising organization doesn’t seem to have all their eggs in a row. The people that came to each room included a woman who is unaware of basic grammatical rules and a man in an ill-fitting chicken suit. The kids weren’t sure what to think about all this.

“Do youins (pronounced with only one syllable yuins) like cookies?” the lady started off her motivational presentation.

My class stared blankly at her.

“I guess youins ain’t listenin’ too well.”

A few kids muttered “yeah,” but most turned and looked at me because ain’t ain’t a word that we use in class.

And so went the presentation.

I’m not sure what purpose the chicken served other than being a distraction. It stood at the front of the room making weird and random noises. It did pass out cookies but that is about it.

This whole ordeal was quiet the talk amongst the faculty. We were as famboozled as the kids were. In the end a second and third note had to be sent home to clear up confusion caused by the chicken and the presenter. It has been a bit of a mess.

The classroom teachers are in charge of checking orders everyday and seeing which students have earned something from the goodie box (more on that in another post). Of course we have nothing better to do than manage this mess. On the first day of sales there were special prizes for students who sold items. Charles’s teacher told me that he was a little upset when he came in that morning.

“I no make cookies! I no make cookies!” he told his teacher.

“You didn’t sell any cookies?” she asked.

“No! Momma has no money!”

His teacher reassured him that he didn’t have to sell anything and that it was quite alright if he didn’t sell anything. Despite this Charles was still a little upset about the whole thing and it wasn’t about not getting any of the prizes.

“Charles, it’s okay, I promise.”

“But don’t tell!”

“Don’t tell who?”

“Don’t tell the chicken!”

“Don’t tell the chicken that you didn’t sell anything?” she asked.

“Yup! Don’t tell the chicken.” Charles was really worried.

“I won’t tell the chicken. Don’t worry. You didn’t like that chicken did you?”

“Noooo!”

That is all that Charles needed. It was decided that the chicken would remain out of the loop.

* Note: The picture is not of the chicken that entertained us. This suit is MUCH nicer.

Class dismissed!