What In Tarnation?!?!? In the Classroom

So Pressed and his wife Kendallare very close to having a baby. Little Josiah. I’m sure he is adorable. I wrote this letter to him.

Dear Josiah,

So, how’s it going? I bet it is getting kinda tight in there. There wasn’t a whole lot of room in there in the first place and now that you have grown like crazy, I would imagine that it is getting a little uncomfortable.

I thought I would take a little time to share with you time tested facts and tips about life on the outside.

First, you are going to meet a whole bunch of people. I mean a lot! You probably have gotten used to being alone and not having to deal with people but that my friend is about to change. Some of the first couple of people that you will meet is your mom and dad. Go easy on them. They are new to all this. I’m sure that you be meeting grandma and grandpas as well. At some point however, you will meet me. I really don’t have any other way to say it, but I am the coolest person on this planet. Or at least that is how you should think of me.

Now when you get older, we will get to do all sorts of stuff. Don’t worry, it will all be cool stuff. In fact I suspect that you will want to spend most of your time with me, that’s normal but I assume that mom and dad will be a little jealous of all that so we will need to keep that on the DL (or down low).

I’m sure that I will teach you all kinds of stuff. Most of it you parents won’t want you to learn. Therefore, all the stuff that am going to be teaching you will be cool. Oh, and if you parents are being a drag, just let me know and I will see if I can get them off your back.

Looking forward to meeting you.

Your friend and coolest person in the world,

CSW

P.S. By the way if you ever want to start a blog, just let me know and I will hook you up!

P.P.S. This was a lot funnier when I started writing it a week ago. It was even more insightful.